You don't have to explain yourself...

This is a statement similar to "no is a complete sentence", that sounds absolutely fantastic in theory, but in practice does not always feel so easy.

It has taken me YEARS of being aware of unnecessarily overexplaining myself, and intentionally attempting to change that habit, to have arrived where I currently am.

A place where I mostly no longer overexplain myself, but where I do still have moments where I notice myself offering more than I need or want to.

How much I find myself feeling compelled to share can typically be attributed to how sensitive I am feeling in that moment, the nature of my relationship with the person I am speaking to, how safe and comfortable I feel giving myself space to process, how secure and rooted I feel in what I am communicating.

Which means that the consistency with which I am able to show up for myself, by not unnecessarily explaining myself, is always fluctuating.

I do not expect myself to respond the same in one interaction in one moment, as I did the day before.

Because every moment, interaction, conversation, and communication you experience is unique.

When you remove this pressure from yourself to show up in the exact same way in each individual moment, you gift yourself the freedom to explore, learn, and grow.

Instead of berating and belittling yourself for not saying what you 'should' have done or what you felt like you were 'supposed' to say.

Which, let's be real, hasn't ever actually helped you with anything other than making yourself feel worse than you already felt, has it?

The reason I have been able to move from a place of overexplaining every single little thing, not feeling like my needs, wants, or desires are enough without an entire backstory, to now being able to just state my idea, opinion, answer (whatever it may be) without a detailed explanation to justify it, is that I have changed my relationship with myself.

I have shifted my relationship with my negative narrator (the voice in my head, the little 'devil' on my shoulder that would constantly tell me how shit and stupid I was and would help me feel worse than I already felt when I said something I wished I hadn't).

Instead, that voice now helps me to process and learn. I am able to reflect almost immediately on what I might have preferred to have said, and what I could potentially say differently in the future, to show up for myself most authentically.

Through this shift, I have been able to see so much more growth and evolution than I ever had before.

And you can too!

This is your invitation to show up for yourself. To stop being so hard on yourself. To show yourself love and compassion.

And remember, you don't owe anyone an explanation.

Much Love,

Matilda 💚